Sit up, listen up, and open up to the possibility that Tarot can give your life a shake. Today you drew The Joker, also known as “The Devil” in some tarot decks. Listen to his message:
Hello, puny human. You pulled me for a reason. Allow me to enlighten you; you obviously need it. So stop looking for answers in logical places already! That’s your big mistake. What in life is logical? You bore me with your base questions.
Or shall we take your little life, make the insignificant… fantastic? First you have to care. You must want to be interesting. Your parents told you to be kind, generous, think of your neighbor, don’t annoy your siblings. Fine, but if that were all you need, you wouldn’t be looking at me right now. Don’t worry so much about nice. After you fill your quota of trifling good deeds for the day, put some effort into being… remarkable. Delectable. Incorrigible! You won’t ruffle my feathers—I’m as unflappable as a waiter at The Carnegie Deli on Seventh Avenue (serving since 1937).
Order your mocha in a French accent. Ask the butcher for dragon meat. Plan a trip to the North Pole. Wear a bowtie. Practice your Latin, quote Virgil at random. Oh, so many interesting things you can do in your paltry day. I hear you say, “Ahem, Joker, what good will that do? Who cares if I wear a bowtie? I need guidance on major life decisions. You are a tarot card. Give me real advice!”
To which I respond: Your impertinence and obtuseness astound me. You don’t want to change. You want to live happily ever after, but you don’t have the courage to buck societal customs. I have no time for such a fear-filled poltroon. If you continue to pester me with these pointless questions about love and loss you will have one devilishly pissed off archetype on your hands.
Listen up, little fish, with both your soggy ears: fear rules your life. You want bliss, all the delicious food you crave, the looks of a movie star, money, love. How banal. Let your imagination run wild! Be a brave little fish. Grow legs when everyone else still swims.
One final hint: Whatever you do always, always pick up the feathers you find. They’re my reminder to you to wake up, and be creative.